An ExtraFilthyCasual’s Review of the Final Fantasy VII Remake
Let me start with the easy target…
Is Midgar experiencing a drought? Because EVERYONE is thirsty. You play as Cloud Strife (duh), and if there are only two truths of this man’s existence, they are:
- That he was a SoLdieR (He says that about 4,000 times. I’m pretty sure it’s his only dialogue.)
- Literally everyone wants a piece; the women, the men, the bad guys, and an actual house. It’s great.
I already want to give this game major props because the last time I felt this desired, someone was trying to buy my feet pics. Cloud Strife isn’t just the most handsome ex-soldier around. The entire game is visually appealing. Honestly, if FF was a dating sim, maybe I wouldn’t be such a filthy casual. Are there esports for dating sims? Maybe it’s time I go pro.
Returning players of the classic title have some familiar scenes to come back to as well as the opportunity to rejoice in new content. Midgar hasn’t changed much over the years. You still get to crossdress and beat up some dude’s house. Children still roam the filthy streets wielding their homemade cudgels, but YOU also get to roam the filthy streets!
Parts of Midgar previously glazed over, like the residential district, have now become key story settings. You also get more time to get to know the team members of Avalanche and their backstories, giving the whole game a heftier emotional weight. The personalities are bigger and, in Roche’s case, more annoying. Like, what’s that guy’s problem?
Other fun new additions in the Final Fantasy VII reboot include the combat setting options. You get to choose whether Cloud engages in combat automatically (classic mode) or not (normal mode). I highly suggest that gamers of my caliber choose classic mode. Do not shame my decisions; I will be the first to say I’m not good at this.
Obviously, this is not a FULL remaster of the original. Square Enix has just added enough new content to the Midgar section of the OG title to make it worthy of its own game. So we know there’s more coming (Boo money, yay game! What did you expect?), but what we’ve been given for the time being is pretty great and has the ability to stand on its own… for now.