“Bombur’s Pork-Pie” by Astrid Tuttle Winegar
Poor Bombur. All he gets is abuse for his physical condition, even from LOTR characters such as Boromir who never interacted with him in Middle-earth. It’s a shame.
I suppose I would say he is one of my favorite dwarves merely because of his appetite and his oh-so-apparent love for food and drink. He is described as “immensely fat and heavy” and he suffers throughout the entire story of The Hobbit. In the film versions, he is definitely a portly fellow, but he sure can move. He is sort of reminiscent of Peter Griffin or Homer Simpson, you know, fat but incredibly fit and mostly able to keep up with all the other spryer dwarves. In this YouTube clip, you can see he is actually the fastest runner: Bombur Wins the Race!
I suppose I would also say he is one of my favorites because I can completely relate to his physical issues (which means I’m moderately fat but also relatively fit, though this is limited to regular types of working out—I don’t foresee jumping around barrels and killing orcs in my future…). Yes, he asks for a pork-pie, but he also requests a salad (which will be my next post), so he must be trying to eat relatively well…
Very Important Note: Please follow this link to my other blog to obtain the recipe for “Shire Seasoning”: in my current cookbook, this is called Savory Seasoning. This dry mix is used in MANY of my recipes, and you will find it convenient to make up a batch. In a pinch, you can use Morton’s Nature’s Seasons as a substitute.
2¼ cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup cornmeal
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dry thyme or 2 tablespoons fresh, minced
¼ cup cold salted butter, cut into ¼” bits
3 ounces cold lard, cut into ¼” bits
7-9 tablespoons ice water
1 tablespoon salted butter
1 cup diced onion
1 pound pork tenderloin, cut into ½” bits
½ cup dry white wine, such as Chardonnay
½ teaspoon each:
Savory Seasoning (“Shire Seasoning”—see above for link)
½ cup fresh or frozen corn
½ cup fresh or frozen lima beans or peas
14 ounce can petite diced tomatoes, undrained
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour or Wondra
1 extra large egg
1 teaspoon water
In a large bowl, combine 2¼ cups flour, cornmeal, 1 teaspoon each of salt and dry (or fresh) thyme. Add the ¼ cup butter and lard and combine. Add ice water by tablespoons and combine well. Divide into a 1/3 and 2/3 portions and flatten into round disks. Put in covered containers or cover each with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30-60 minutes.
Meanwhile, coat a medium deep skillet with cooking spray, then sauté the 1 tablespoon butter, onion, and the pork over medium/high heat just until there is no longer any pink color. Add the wine and cook over high heat until it is almost dry. Add all the remaining ingredients down to the flour or Wondra. Bring to a boil, then cook uncovered over a medium heat for 5 minutes. Let stand; it should still be moist and saucy. Adjust seasonings, if desired.
Preheat oven to 375°. On a floured surface, roll out the large disk to a 13″ circle and place in a 9½” glass pie dish. Pour in the stew. Roll out the smaller disk to about 12″ and place on top. Trim edges, fold over and crimp decoratively, reserving scraps. Cut a small X in the center. With pie crust scraps, cut small decorations. Whisk together the egg and 1 teaspoon water. Brush top of pie with egg wash and apply decorations—egg wash these as well. Bake 30 minutes. Brush top of pie with egg wash and bake another 16-20 minutes, until golden brown. Let stand 10 minutes before cutting. Serve hot or at room temperature. Cover and refrigerate leftovers; reheats well. Serves 6-8.
This pie is known as Geirahoᵭ’s Pork Pie of Battle in my cookbook.
Astrid Tuttle Winegar
Astrid Tuttle Winegar is the author of Cooking for Halflings and Monsters: 111 Comfy, Cozy Recipes for Fantasy-Loving Souls, which is currently available in e-book form on the Amazon Kindle, but will soon be released by Oloris Publishing! Stay tuned for details. Astrid has loved C. S. Lewis since childhood, J. R. R. Tolkien since middle and high school, all Star things, both Trek and Wars, all things Whedon, and many other things besides… She lives in the enchanted city of Albuquerque, New Mexico, with her husband and dog. Her blog can be found at http://halflingsandmonsters.wordpress.com/. You can check out (and like!) her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/halflingsandmonsters or visit her Twitter feed at http://twitter.com/astridwinegar.